Monday, September 9, 2013
Shorty here
I just wanted to say that I hope this blog is serving it's purpose. I hope that the people who have read my blog are enjoying life or have a new, better perspective on something that was once a danger to themselves. Thank you to everyone who reads my MASSIVE posts :) You guys are awesome! I love everyone for the support and views :)
This video
You guys, this video is awesome. I honestly feel like I've taken too much for granted.
A man explains what existing is. Why we exist and teaches us to see it from a more...spiritual perspective. When I say spiritual I don't mean Religious, I mean as a community of the same race. Those emotions we all experience, those unwritten rules of humanity, such as murder is bad or that anxious feeling of disappointment. I've discussed my thoughts about the same topic, how we exist is not something just worthless, but it's for us. This man explains it much better than I do and he uses the comparison of science verses real world experience. Science tells us we are mating machines, we are programmed to survive. We are not programmed. Sure we experience instinct, and to the extent we may consider ourselves "programmed" but what you do, who you are, is all inside of you. I'll stop there and let you enjoy the video :)
A man explains what existing is. Why we exist and teaches us to see it from a more...spiritual perspective. When I say spiritual I don't mean Religious, I mean as a community of the same race. Those emotions we all experience, those unwritten rules of humanity, such as murder is bad or that anxious feeling of disappointment. I've discussed my thoughts about the same topic, how we exist is not something just worthless, but it's for us. This man explains it much better than I do and he uses the comparison of science verses real world experience. Science tells us we are mating machines, we are programmed to survive. We are not programmed. Sure we experience instinct, and to the extent we may consider ourselves "programmed" but what you do, who you are, is all inside of you. I'll stop there and let you enjoy the video :)
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
No sugar coating it
I found this quote on a tumblr blog.
"And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. F*** it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself."
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Self Image
Sorry it's been so long guys! I just needed some inspiration and I've been busy with family and friends :) I found something to talk about though! It's not related to homosexuality, in fact I feel most of the stuff in this blog has been more relative to just life in general as opposed to homosexuality lol.
I believe I've mentioned this in past posts, the fact that I am very self conscious about my unmasculinity. Recently I have been tweaking out more and more because I can't quit comparing. I watched an ASAP Science video (along with plenty of night of thinking) that explained the body. Now, the reasons I feel unmasculine are mainly physical. I see myself as slim (because people are CONSTANTLY reminding me of how thin I am) short (I'm only 5'8) and as ridiculous as this sounds, hairless. I am under the impression, no thanks to society, that men need to be burly, tall and strong to support a family. Women are naturally drawn to tall muscular men and I am neither of those things. What doesn't help at all is, my best friend is VERY much your generic man. He is 6'1 and 200 lbs with a lot of natural muscle. I complimented him, but in the wrong way. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense right now, I'll explain. I would say something along the lines of "you're lucky you're so tall and naturally huge". This type of compliment was obviously directed towards him but also it was directed at myself. I would verbally put down myself by emphasizing the physical qualities I wish I had the he did. That is envy my friends.
Envy is just as any other sin, addicting and self destructive. I felt unfit for a family, a son, a brother, a friend and a man because of this. Just recently though, I found some quotes and videos, as I mentioned above, that have helped me change my mind. I convinced myself that I am not destined to be gay. I felt condemned to homosexuality because I wasn't masculine enough to take care of a woman or hold her. My son wouldn't have the big strong father he should have, not like the one my 6'1 beast of a man friend would be. Why would she choose me over him or another man just as big, if not bigger than him?
After thinking and reading multiple things, I came to realize that
1. people love people, not genders. I am not going to allow myself to be with a man only because I am unconfident in my own masculinity.
2. What happens, happens. If I meet a woman who I find intriguing then so be it! I will act on how I feel regardless of sex. I don't want to say I am Bisexual, because that is a title and I am not willing to accept titles. Titles are exactly what lead me to believe I am unfit for a man. I am just me, and that's that.
3. I am built to operate at my best. My body may not be huge and muscular, but the amount of muscle I do have is optimal for my bodies build to operate in the most healthy way possible. The best I can do is reach my individual peak of muscularity if I so please and take pride in the work I have done to get there. Being short and slim, with large ribs has a huge advantage. My friend I mentioned earlier in this blog may be able to lift more but I ran 30 minutes without exercising for a year, if not more. I'm built for endurance and that is just as good a quality as being big and strong. I don't mean to compare but for this particular reason, it will provide a good example. He lifts more than me, I can out run him. We're both built differently and there are a TON of people on this planet. There is no way that there is not one woman who wouldn't want to be with me. I say woman because at this point in time, I want a family of my own to take care of. When the time comes, however, I know I will be happy regardless of what sex I am with.
4.Being the best is impossible. There is only one person who can be number one. Everyone else is set on a level. Don't feel inferior to people on a higher level though because it's not like you're stuck on one level of whatever it is you decide to compare. Everything can be worked on. Not only that but there are other people on the same exact level as you. I don't know if this helps you as much as it helps me, I just like to feel that I'm not alone and that progress is a possibility. Also keep in mind that what that one person is good at that you feel you are not good at, is not as good as you at something you can do.
I am a little bit strange and I may be small, but I can run like Sonic and have faith that there is someone out there who will love me for who I am, other than my family and friends :) Everyone has a physical and personality preference for their ideal individual, that being said, that is A LOT of different variations of preferences. It doesn't matter if I am not the most attractive man, or even if I'm not as attractive as my friends. It's the fact that they are not who I am. They don't, nor can they, think like me, act like, or even be like me. Same goes for everyone else who is reading this. You are extremely unique in the best way possible. Embrace your personal skills and refrain from comparison to others. It will lead you deeper in to envious thoughts and end up destroying your mental health.
I believe I've mentioned this in past posts, the fact that I am very self conscious about my unmasculinity. Recently I have been tweaking out more and more because I can't quit comparing. I watched an ASAP Science video (along with plenty of night of thinking) that explained the body. Now, the reasons I feel unmasculine are mainly physical. I see myself as slim (because people are CONSTANTLY reminding me of how thin I am) short (I'm only 5'8) and as ridiculous as this sounds, hairless. I am under the impression, no thanks to society, that men need to be burly, tall and strong to support a family. Women are naturally drawn to tall muscular men and I am neither of those things. What doesn't help at all is, my best friend is VERY much your generic man. He is 6'1 and 200 lbs with a lot of natural muscle. I complimented him, but in the wrong way. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense right now, I'll explain. I would say something along the lines of "you're lucky you're so tall and naturally huge". This type of compliment was obviously directed towards him but also it was directed at myself. I would verbally put down myself by emphasizing the physical qualities I wish I had the he did. That is envy my friends.
Envy is just as any other sin, addicting and self destructive. I felt unfit for a family, a son, a brother, a friend and a man because of this. Just recently though, I found some quotes and videos, as I mentioned above, that have helped me change my mind. I convinced myself that I am not destined to be gay. I felt condemned to homosexuality because I wasn't masculine enough to take care of a woman or hold her. My son wouldn't have the big strong father he should have, not like the one my 6'1 beast of a man friend would be. Why would she choose me over him or another man just as big, if not bigger than him?
After thinking and reading multiple things, I came to realize that
1. people love people, not genders. I am not going to allow myself to be with a man only because I am unconfident in my own masculinity.
2. What happens, happens. If I meet a woman who I find intriguing then so be it! I will act on how I feel regardless of sex. I don't want to say I am Bisexual, because that is a title and I am not willing to accept titles. Titles are exactly what lead me to believe I am unfit for a man. I am just me, and that's that.
3. I am built to operate at my best. My body may not be huge and muscular, but the amount of muscle I do have is optimal for my bodies build to operate in the most healthy way possible. The best I can do is reach my individual peak of muscularity if I so please and take pride in the work I have done to get there. Being short and slim, with large ribs has a huge advantage. My friend I mentioned earlier in this blog may be able to lift more but I ran 30 minutes without exercising for a year, if not more. I'm built for endurance and that is just as good a quality as being big and strong. I don't mean to compare but for this particular reason, it will provide a good example. He lifts more than me, I can out run him. We're both built differently and there are a TON of people on this planet. There is no way that there is not one woman who wouldn't want to be with me. I say woman because at this point in time, I want a family of my own to take care of. When the time comes, however, I know I will be happy regardless of what sex I am with.
4.Being the best is impossible. There is only one person who can be number one. Everyone else is set on a level. Don't feel inferior to people on a higher level though because it's not like you're stuck on one level of whatever it is you decide to compare. Everything can be worked on. Not only that but there are other people on the same exact level as you. I don't know if this helps you as much as it helps me, I just like to feel that I'm not alone and that progress is a possibility. Also keep in mind that what that one person is good at that you feel you are not good at, is not as good as you at something you can do.
I am a little bit strange and I may be small, but I can run like Sonic and have faith that there is someone out there who will love me for who I am, other than my family and friends :) Everyone has a physical and personality preference for their ideal individual, that being said, that is A LOT of different variations of preferences. It doesn't matter if I am not the most attractive man, or even if I'm not as attractive as my friends. It's the fact that they are not who I am. They don't, nor can they, think like me, act like, or even be like me. Same goes for everyone else who is reading this. You are extremely unique in the best way possible. Embrace your personal skills and refrain from comparison to others. It will lead you deeper in to envious thoughts and end up destroying your mental health.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The worst kind of hope...
Is the hope that becomes a growth. It's a cancer building upon itself until we can't see anything else happening, we don't want to see anything else happen, other than seeing this hope become our reality.
I bring this up because it's something I often easily find myself fighting. Hope that maybe I'll be straight, hope that maybe being a musician isn't as unstable as people say, hope that people will be accepting. For those of us who enjoy feeling and allow ourselves to embrace our emotions, we deal with this a lot. It is and is not our fault.
The more we think about it (the more we want it), the more we can see it become our future. Worse part is, there is still that little voice telling us "This isn't right". I will never say all hope is vein but it's all in moderation. We control our thoughts and in this sense it is our fault. It is not our fault completely though because we can't control what we want and what we don't, we can only control to what degree we want it.
Now, this is the hardest part, ignore it. I hate to say it, but when hope is eating you alive because you know that this is just not possible, yet you continue to fantasize because it's something you've always wanted, something so divine that it will affect you in the best way possible, it's time to stop. What is in our future will be there, it's waiting and what happens happens. It's not going to change when the moment passes. It will happen just as it should and if what does happen doesn't match up to what you think should happen, you will be distraught after allowing those fantasies to consume your thoughts.
It's best to realize the unhealthy addictions before it has a chance to damage you. Hope is a grand aspect of life, it aids us in our pursuit of our goals. Without it, ambition wouldn't exist, we need that want, that hope that something will happen and grant us this gift.When it so obviously is too farfetched, it's destructive. So don't ever give up on dreams, don't lose your hope, just don't expect it to happen. Expect everything and be satisfied with nothing, or expect nothing and be satisfied with everything.
I apologize if my blogs have become increasingly depressing lately, but these have been things I have dealt with. Everything on this blog will be something I have personally dealt with. Some of them will be light hearted others may not, but I just wanted to get this warning out there.
Basically put, keep yourself in check. Don't expect anything to happen or you will find yourself disappointed too often. Hope this helps open some eyes :) hope you guys have all experienced something fantastic lately! Love you all :)
I bring this up because it's something I often easily find myself fighting. Hope that maybe I'll be straight, hope that maybe being a musician isn't as unstable as people say, hope that people will be accepting. For those of us who enjoy feeling and allow ourselves to embrace our emotions, we deal with this a lot. It is and is not our fault.
The more we think about it (the more we want it), the more we can see it become our future. Worse part is, there is still that little voice telling us "This isn't right". I will never say all hope is vein but it's all in moderation. We control our thoughts and in this sense it is our fault. It is not our fault completely though because we can't control what we want and what we don't, we can only control to what degree we want it.
Now, this is the hardest part, ignore it. I hate to say it, but when hope is eating you alive because you know that this is just not possible, yet you continue to fantasize because it's something you've always wanted, something so divine that it will affect you in the best way possible, it's time to stop. What is in our future will be there, it's waiting and what happens happens. It's not going to change when the moment passes. It will happen just as it should and if what does happen doesn't match up to what you think should happen, you will be distraught after allowing those fantasies to consume your thoughts.
It's best to realize the unhealthy addictions before it has a chance to damage you. Hope is a grand aspect of life, it aids us in our pursuit of our goals. Without it, ambition wouldn't exist, we need that want, that hope that something will happen and grant us this gift.When it so obviously is too farfetched, it's destructive. So don't ever give up on dreams, don't lose your hope, just don't expect it to happen. Expect everything and be satisfied with nothing, or expect nothing and be satisfied with everything.
I apologize if my blogs have become increasingly depressing lately, but these have been things I have dealt with. Everything on this blog will be something I have personally dealt with. Some of them will be light hearted others may not, but I just wanted to get this warning out there.
Basically put, keep yourself in check. Don't expect anything to happen or you will find yourself disappointed too often. Hope this helps open some eyes :) hope you guys have all experienced something fantastic lately! Love you all :)
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Your mind is your worst enemy
Hey friends :) Today I was thinking about why homosexuality is not a terrible thing. It's kind of funny I made this blog to directly assess the topic of homosexuality and I've been discussing the byproducts such as depression, self rejection, and suicide more so than I have the topic of being gay.
I figured tonight I would post my thoughts on homosexuality. More on a social level as opposed to religious though because I don't know how many people are religious and whether we deal with the religious side or not, we will all face the social rejection.
Let's think about society for a second. Now, I don't want to be some sort of hippy who says society is corrupt and blah blah blah, but they create ideas in our minds of right and wrong that aren't necessarily right or wrong. Example, I have faced difficulties finding myself attractive because I am very short, thin, and just feel unmasculine. Why do I feel this way though? It's because society has created this image that men should be tall, muscular, eat beef jerky, and drink beer. A man is a man. Simple as that, if you have your man hood, you're a man. Sorry if that's weird but I mean....there's no sense in complicating it. Society freaks out about everything. They believe sugar, along with a million other foods, when mass consumed, causes cancer with no back up research. Anything in excess can have a terrible outcome, but they are just constantly searching for answers and homosexuality is one thing that is unanswered.
Personally, I can understand the fear of the unknown to an extent. Space scares me because we haven't explored it yet, it's huge, it's deadly and dark. I even feel uneasy in pitch black because I don't know what's there, but when it comes to personality, the unknown does not affect me. So, I guess I can't comprehend why people are afraid of homosexuality just because it's unexplained. Since homosexuality is such an unknown topic though, people are immediately detesting it because it doesn't make sense, it's strange. Now what the heck is wrong with abnormality? There is not one single human on this planet that is not considered strange by someone else.
The issue is perspective. I just think that when one perspective has been expressed, especially by a community, it becomes a mindset. The mindset grows on people and becomes apart of their own beliefs, homosexuality is victim of this permeating perspective. People express dislike towards homosexuals, and yet they have problems of their own. The pot calling the kettle black. Don't you dare tell me I am abnormal just because I express my differences. If I looked down deep enough to find something I found odd about you, I could easily point it out and ridicule that same someone who ridicules me. At least I am comfortable enough to be me, to allow myself my happiness in my so called "mistake".
The worst part is we can't change this. What others feel or think is not in our control, but that doesn't mean we should be taken down because of them. Your mind is your own worst enemy. No one can put you down without your consent. Filter your thoughts, filter the outside influences and rid yourself of them. If someone keeps putting you down and makes you feel uncomfortable with yourself, tell them either they need to keep their mouth shut or you need to stop talking because it's not fair. You could just as easily express disappointment in them against something you don't agree with that they do. Learn to ignore the comments, it's not easy at all. Feeling isolated like that is hurtful. When you know people are against you, especially a whole community is against you, it's tough but you know there is also a lot of people who aren't. There are a million people who would love to help or to accept others. The thing is, the people who dislike homosexuality are just very outspoken about it, the people who don't mind don't feel the need to say anything because it doesn't bother them, if that makes sense. People seem to just love to complain I guess is what it is. Just know, that they have as many faults as you do. I don't care how perfect they seem, they have something about them that another person would consider either strange or wrong.
Basically, just ignore rude comments. What is life anyways? Are we not here to spend time? Shouldn't that time be worth spending? Then love yourself and other, because being hateful, even if the hate seems justified, is not good. Two wrongs don't make a right. Don't get caught up in those things and just brush off the negatives :) Remember, you aren't weird or abnormal, it's all perspective. Hope this makes sense to you guys and you act on it :)
I figured tonight I would post my thoughts on homosexuality. More on a social level as opposed to religious though because I don't know how many people are religious and whether we deal with the religious side or not, we will all face the social rejection.
Let's think about society for a second. Now, I don't want to be some sort of hippy who says society is corrupt and blah blah blah, but they create ideas in our minds of right and wrong that aren't necessarily right or wrong. Example, I have faced difficulties finding myself attractive because I am very short, thin, and just feel unmasculine. Why do I feel this way though? It's because society has created this image that men should be tall, muscular, eat beef jerky, and drink beer. A man is a man. Simple as that, if you have your man hood, you're a man. Sorry if that's weird but I mean....there's no sense in complicating it. Society freaks out about everything. They believe sugar, along with a million other foods, when mass consumed, causes cancer with no back up research. Anything in excess can have a terrible outcome, but they are just constantly searching for answers and homosexuality is one thing that is unanswered.
Personally, I can understand the fear of the unknown to an extent. Space scares me because we haven't explored it yet, it's huge, it's deadly and dark. I even feel uneasy in pitch black because I don't know what's there, but when it comes to personality, the unknown does not affect me. So, I guess I can't comprehend why people are afraid of homosexuality just because it's unexplained. Since homosexuality is such an unknown topic though, people are immediately detesting it because it doesn't make sense, it's strange. Now what the heck is wrong with abnormality? There is not one single human on this planet that is not considered strange by someone else.
The issue is perspective. I just think that when one perspective has been expressed, especially by a community, it becomes a mindset. The mindset grows on people and becomes apart of their own beliefs, homosexuality is victim of this permeating perspective. People express dislike towards homosexuals, and yet they have problems of their own. The pot calling the kettle black. Don't you dare tell me I am abnormal just because I express my differences. If I looked down deep enough to find something I found odd about you, I could easily point it out and ridicule that same someone who ridicules me. At least I am comfortable enough to be me, to allow myself my happiness in my so called "mistake".
The worst part is we can't change this. What others feel or think is not in our control, but that doesn't mean we should be taken down because of them. Your mind is your own worst enemy. No one can put you down without your consent. Filter your thoughts, filter the outside influences and rid yourself of them. If someone keeps putting you down and makes you feel uncomfortable with yourself, tell them either they need to keep their mouth shut or you need to stop talking because it's not fair. You could just as easily express disappointment in them against something you don't agree with that they do. Learn to ignore the comments, it's not easy at all. Feeling isolated like that is hurtful. When you know people are against you, especially a whole community is against you, it's tough but you know there is also a lot of people who aren't. There are a million people who would love to help or to accept others. The thing is, the people who dislike homosexuality are just very outspoken about it, the people who don't mind don't feel the need to say anything because it doesn't bother them, if that makes sense. People seem to just love to complain I guess is what it is. Just know, that they have as many faults as you do. I don't care how perfect they seem, they have something about them that another person would consider either strange or wrong.
Basically, just ignore rude comments. What is life anyways? Are we not here to spend time? Shouldn't that time be worth spending? Then love yourself and other, because being hateful, even if the hate seems justified, is not good. Two wrongs don't make a right. Don't get caught up in those things and just brush off the negatives :) Remember, you aren't weird or abnormal, it's all perspective. Hope this makes sense to you guys and you act on it :)
Sunday, May 26, 2013
After 6 years..
So I feel like I haven't posted anything for 6 years lol. It's probably been only 5 days? I can't remember and I'm too lazy to check at this very moment, but good news! I got some people to share my blog and got some professional recommendations to share it as well. I am starting a meet up on Meetup.com, so excited :D I have still had a very difficult time thinking of things to talk about but, one thing that can get to me quite often is, why am I who I am? I don't mean the way I was raised but more so, why did I have to turn out gay?
I have friends who don't disown me because I'm gay but don't necessarily like that I'm gay. They encourage I fight it, yet say they accept it. I love that they are okay with it, and they feel they can express themselves around me, but what never feels okay is that I know it's something they want me to deny. Do they accept me? I always think to myself, if they did then why would they feel this way? I guess they don't necessarily dislike me, it's something I am they dislike, but to me...what I am is who I am.
This leads me to ask, why couldn't I just be straight? Life would be so much easier. I would love to have children of my own flesh and blood, a product of love, something very precious between me and my spouse. Religiously it would save me troubled thoughts of potentially going to hell. I know having children (naturally) is not possible though with who I am. I always want to say "who I've chosen to be", but I never chose this. Honestly, if I could still be me without being gay then I would! In a heart beat. Here's the thing though, is it possible to be me if I had never been trialed?
If I was never gay, or even had the thoughts at all, I would have never felt the rejection of myself or from others that rejected me back in 8th grade. Those were terrible times, I won't lie, but they are key to who I am today. I hated myself, I felt hate from others, and in this I was able to learn to care more than ever. Feeling so low and down allowed me the capability to empathize for others who feel low as well. Not only this but I've learned it's important to put myself in the shoes of others.
The reason I started this blog is because of the stuff I faced, the reason I want to make a community support group is to help people who are fighting what I have fought. I hope this is all coming clear, I'm okay with being gay, even if I face some sort of passive/aggressive rejection because it's helped me help others. Putting myself into the shoes of others has taught me to give the benefit of the doubt to others. Horrible things happen to good people, people are bullies as a result of this, people judge as a result of this, and I don't want to say I'm okay with such behaviors but I can't blame them.
Basically, I am a strong believer in that we are all meant for something. No one life is meaningless and what happens to us happens for a reason. Life is an experience and just like a video game, we get stronger as we go :D (love the nerd references eh?). I may be a broken record at times, saying these things over and over but a lot of events have revealed this to me. I am gay to help other people who may need it. Maybe you're gay, maybe you were an addict of some sort, maybe you were traumatized as a child by something, or maybe even traumatized recently. There is a reason it happened, think of what you can teach with that pain! I may sound a tad masochistic right now, but it's healthy pain. Teach your lessons and let people use you as a guide! It's a fantastic moment in life when you are capable of giving an opinion that you know will make a person think. Advice is priceless and a mind that contains this treasure is worth even more.
Be aware of who you are, and why you dealt with life so far! You're potential is far beyond what you believe, show yourself it's more than you think it is :)
I have friends who don't disown me because I'm gay but don't necessarily like that I'm gay. They encourage I fight it, yet say they accept it. I love that they are okay with it, and they feel they can express themselves around me, but what never feels okay is that I know it's something they want me to deny. Do they accept me? I always think to myself, if they did then why would they feel this way? I guess they don't necessarily dislike me, it's something I am they dislike, but to me...what I am is who I am.
This leads me to ask, why couldn't I just be straight? Life would be so much easier. I would love to have children of my own flesh and blood, a product of love, something very precious between me and my spouse. Religiously it would save me troubled thoughts of potentially going to hell. I know having children (naturally) is not possible though with who I am. I always want to say "who I've chosen to be", but I never chose this. Honestly, if I could still be me without being gay then I would! In a heart beat. Here's the thing though, is it possible to be me if I had never been trialed?
If I was never gay, or even had the thoughts at all, I would have never felt the rejection of myself or from others that rejected me back in 8th grade. Those were terrible times, I won't lie, but they are key to who I am today. I hated myself, I felt hate from others, and in this I was able to learn to care more than ever. Feeling so low and down allowed me the capability to empathize for others who feel low as well. Not only this but I've learned it's important to put myself in the shoes of others.
The reason I started this blog is because of the stuff I faced, the reason I want to make a community support group is to help people who are fighting what I have fought. I hope this is all coming clear, I'm okay with being gay, even if I face some sort of passive/aggressive rejection because it's helped me help others. Putting myself into the shoes of others has taught me to give the benefit of the doubt to others. Horrible things happen to good people, people are bullies as a result of this, people judge as a result of this, and I don't want to say I'm okay with such behaviors but I can't blame them.
Basically, I am a strong believer in that we are all meant for something. No one life is meaningless and what happens to us happens for a reason. Life is an experience and just like a video game, we get stronger as we go :D (love the nerd references eh?). I may be a broken record at times, saying these things over and over but a lot of events have revealed this to me. I am gay to help other people who may need it. Maybe you're gay, maybe you were an addict of some sort, maybe you were traumatized as a child by something, or maybe even traumatized recently. There is a reason it happened, think of what you can teach with that pain! I may sound a tad masochistic right now, but it's healthy pain. Teach your lessons and let people use you as a guide! It's a fantastic moment in life when you are capable of giving an opinion that you know will make a person think. Advice is priceless and a mind that contains this treasure is worth even more.
Be aware of who you are, and why you dealt with life so far! You're potential is far beyond what you believe, show yourself it's more than you think it is :)
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